Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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