yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
