They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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