like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
