Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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