I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
