my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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