im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
