okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
