it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
