do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
