He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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