i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
