can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
