What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
