I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
