By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize