Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
