Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
