Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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