just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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