what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
