Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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