brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
