on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
its not stalking. its research.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
