i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You can't motorboat a personality
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
