I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there was a trapeze. enough said
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
