Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
nutella sex= disaster
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
