Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
