Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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