i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
