11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just want nice things and good sex
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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