She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
no you cant smoke seaweed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
