we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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