my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize