There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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