Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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