She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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