I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize