All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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