So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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