I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
