white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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