Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
