Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
