just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
