Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
