How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
