OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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