So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
