Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
