Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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