apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
