shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
