I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
